babyfruit: the miscarriage blog and motherhood diaries

The Non-Conclusive Un-Conclusion

So the perils of taking a pregnancy test too early - i.e. 5 days prior to your next period - include getting test results that are simply not conclusive.

Blood test from yesterday:

HCG = less than 1
Progesterone - 14.8

OK, I had to ask what 14.8 means.

I was told that if I were about to start my period in a few days, my progesterone level would be around 0.3.

"If your Progesterone was at 2, I'd still tell you that you're period was about to start," said the nurse.

Mine is 14.8. So what does that mean again?

The answer:

1. It could mean I am pregnant and the HCG just isn't registering yet.
2. It could mean I was pregnant and am going to miscarry.
3. It could mean that I'm not pregnant but not sure what else could cause the raised Progesterone.

Is it possible to be getting nauseas with 14.8 Progesterone levels?

The nurse wasn't sure but said it seemed like I may be experiencing symptoms even before the tests pick up the HCG.

She recommended that I come back on Wednesday for another test.

Went to my acupuncturist today and let her know I might - emphasis on the "might" - be pregnant.

When she was taking my pulses, she said they were "slippery" which is a pretty common sign of pregnancy.

"But let me check your charts to see if they tend to run slippery," she said.

Later she told me that no, my pulses are usually not slippery.

Slippery when pregnant.

I'm thinking of waiting until later this week before considering another blood test. If I can hold out (patience, patience), I may even wait until Monday. Let's just see if I miss my period.

Feels like I've been here before. I remember the waiting. And I remember never having any patience. Maybe this time will be a little different. Just a little...

Join My Ride

OK, here is how my ride has been going for the last week or so. Hop on board for the latest adventure!

1. Nausea - could be a relapse of the stomach flu that I had 2 weeks ago.
2. Dizziness - could be my medication.
3. Increased urination - could be drinking more water.
4. Boobs getting a little sore - could be my period coming. Due this Friday.
5. A touch of light cramping the other day - could have been gas.
6. Bloaty and gassy - could be something I'm eating.

Still too early to take an HPT. Going in for a blood test tomorrow because I'd rather know sooner than later. Every day of waiting and not knowing for sure is a pain in the ass.

If it comes up negative, then I think I may have myself committed for having the best damn psychosomatic symptoms ever.

No this was not planned. Yes we do want it if it is what we think it is. No I'm not excited yet - I reserve emotions for Month #4 after we get past the early and precarious months. For now, I'm just pretending everything is totally normal. See above list.

Fragile

How fragile is a 16-month old? I think I've pondered that question each month of NG's life. I think my first year freak out worries have subsided and settled into more of a calm curiosity, but it is still there.

The other day, NG spilled the dog's water bowl on the tile floor. I lifted her up and set her in the next room then went to the bathroom to get a towel. In that brief moment, she returned to the water spill and her feet swung out from under her. She fell onto her back, probably hitting her head on the hard tile, and started screaming. I rushed to her and comforted her. She eventually calmed down and didn't seem to have a bump.

But then I watched her like a hawk. Was she looking a little wobbly? Did she seem particularly woozy? Was she having trouble waking? Was she sleeping too much? Would she wake up?

Of course, by sheer coincidence, she was going through another big growth spurt so was taking 3 hour naps. Concussion? Cracked skull? Permanent brain damage?

She didn't exhibit ANY abnormal behavior at all, and I could press her scalp without eliciting any cries of pain, so I was sure she was fine. But that didn't stop my mind from racing when she slept in later or stumbled when she walked.

A few days ago - over a week since her spill - the babysitter knocked on my office door to show me something. NG had crusted blood in her ear. I didn't panic although my first thought was internal brain injury from the fall on the tiles. Nonsense.

Then I thought maybe her pediatrician checkup the previous day could be cause - when she was fighting and squirming while the doctor checked her ears. Or maybe she stuck her finger into her ear and her very long, razor sharp finger nails cut her ear canal and cause a little bleeding.

I gently cleaned her ear canal with wet Q-tips then called the pediatrician. She didn't think the ear instrument could have caused any damage but guessed it was probably her fingernail. Note to self: Clip baby's nails more often. As long as she didn't have any other symptoms - dizzyness, fever, etc. - then it was nothing to worry about.

But I watched her like a hawk for the next 24 hours, just to make sure.

Because I still don't know - how fragile is a 16-month old???

The Biggest Poo Incident in the History of the World

Like any mom in her first year of motherhood, I've had my share of poo incidents with NG. But this one takes the cake, so to speak. This is a true story, and it just finished happening. I'm still in shock, I think, as I sit in the bathroom as NG finally takes a bath.

So I run the bath for her, undress her, put her in. All is normal - the usual bath time. Then she is suddenly quiet. And then the poop appears - well formed, solid poops.

OK, we've been here, done that. Calmly, I lift NG from the tub and put her on a bath towel outside the tub.

"Hold on a minute baby while I clean up the tub for you," I say and quickly drain the tub, donning rubber gloves to scoop out the poop and throw it in the toilet bowl. As I'm reaching for the Ajax under the sink, I hear a familiar grunting. She is pooping and peeing on the bath towel.

OK, no problem. It is just a bath towel. And I'm wearing rubber gloves, so I wipe NG's bottom with a Kleenex, pick up the softer poops, toss them in the toilet, and put NG on the bathroom floor. I fold the bath towel and place it by the bathroom door so I remember to bring it to the laundry room. I return to the can of Ajax and a sponge to clean the tub.

And NG poops a soft poo plop on the bathroom floor. No problem, we can Ajax the floor. Then she steps in it. No problem, I wipe the floor with Kleenex, wipe her bottom again, and decide we'll wash her feet off in the tub since it still hasn't fully drained. So I lift her and place her feet in the tub.

"Splash your feet baby, splash your feet," I say as she keeps trying to sit back down in the tub for bath time. "Not yet honey, splash your feet so we can clean them."

She splashes, poop comes off. Then I place her on the bathroom rug and turn around to Ajax the floor and the tub so I can put her back in. She runs out of the bathroom and into her room. OK, her room is baby proofed so she is safe while I finish cleaning.

Then I hear the familiar grunting. There is no possible way she still has poop left in her, I think as I grab some Kleenexes and run to her bedroom. She must be trying to rearrange her furniture, her new favorite past time. I hope.

I find her standing in the middle of her bedroom, pooping and peeing again. The poop plops down in dollops now. I lift her up and carry her into the bathroom again, wipe her bottom again, then tell her to wait by the tub as I quickly Ajax it. As I go to rinse out the Ajax, she runs from the bathroom again (why didn't I close the door behind us???) and I'm sure she is all pooped out by now.

Grunt. Grunt. She is pooping in the hallway. No way. I grab more Kleenex and step in a little poop still left on the bathroom floor and hop to the hall, pick up the poop, wipe her bottom, then hop back to the bathroom to dump the poop in the toilet and wipe my foot.

I return to the hallway to pick her up, but she is in the living room. Pooping. I pick her up mid-poop, carry her to the bathroom, wipe her bottom and put her in the newly Ajaxed tub.

"It's bathtime, baby!" I tell her as I start to run the water. And she is happy as a fish.

Gotta get the pet stain and odor remover spray and a rug scrub brush to clean up the carpets in her bedroom and hallway and living room, especially before the dog gets a whiff of it. Gotta Ajax the bathroom floor and tub again for good measure. And clean my feet once more. Just to make sure.

But for a moment, just for a moment, I just have to....laugh.

Barf, Puke, Ugh

Well, I haven't actually barfed yet, but I have some 24 stomach bug starting last night - around the 2nd or 3rd time that NG started screaming in her crib (maybe she had it too). Dizzy, queasy, close to throwing up but didn't. Bad headache. Achy. Feverish.

I spent most of the morning in bed and tried to rest before the babysitter left. Now she is gone, but the nausea remains.

How do moms do it? Take care of busy babies when they are sick themselves? Was wondering this particularly when I ran to the bathroom thinking I was going to puke, and NG followed me. What would I do with her, especially if she decided to stick her hand in the toilet? (Wouldn't be the first time.)

At one point, I just had to lie down, but she would have none of it. I think the next sign language lesson will be "hurt" and "sick." I think she thinks I'm playing around with her. I just want to collapse in bed and have the babysitting fairy come play with baby for a while.

Hanging on until G. gets home. Barely.

Suggestions anyone?

The Language of Babes

G. asked me tonight if we are writing down NG's words, her little language. I've thought about it but haven't gotten around to it so thought I'd start here and share. Please share your baby's language, too!

Food - FEFF

Thank You - DINK Ooo

Baby - BEY bee

Dog - DAW Geee ARF! 

Ducks - DUC kkkkkks

Giraffe - RAFF

Any animal she can't identify - DAW Geee

Bear - BAHR, grrrr

Ball - BAH

Boat - BOH

Bottle - BECHK

Blanket - BECHK

Pacifier - BECHK

Dad - DA da

Mom - MOM ma

Ebb (the Black Lab) - BUH Buh

Pancho (the Chihuahua) - DAW Geee

Bubbles - BUH Boh

Bath - BEH

Anatomy of Stalker Spam

Link: Anatomy of Stalker Spam.

Well, this is not my usual fare for Babyfruit, but thought I'd share. The person who sent the spam that I'm linking to (it got caught up in another of my blog's spam control) also comments here and did so very recently (I don't delete negative comments from this blog as a rule).

Normally, I wouldn't respond to something like this, but this time, I just felt like it.

Here's to all the bloggers out there who get this stuff. You are not alone, nor do you deserve it. But alas, such is life. At least I got a good laugh out of it.

Knock Down, Pull Apart

Now here's something that I'm curious about.

In looking for new and challenging things to do with NG - in addition to reading her dozens of books a day (some of them several times in a row like the one with photographs of babies signing words) - I've been trying out new things like matching shapes, building block towers and the latest - putting together 4 piece puzzles.

She's getting pretty good at the shape thing - especially squares, circles and triangles - but she seems to prefer knocking down block towers than building them and taking apart puzzles instead of putting them together. Is this strange or normal? I honestly don't know.

If I ask her to put one block on top of another, she does, but then immediately knocks it off. If I manage to build a tower of several blocks, she won't bother adding one more to the top but instead goes straight for the knock down. We can actually spend a long time with me trying to build block towers faster than she can knock them down but she's pretty darn fast.

Thought we'd try a jigsaw puzzle so I got one with 4 different zoo animals, each made up of 4 large pieces. When I went to show her how to put them together - and how they made up animals that she knew like a lion and giraffe - she immediately began pulling them apart.

"Don't you want to make the puzzle?" I asked.

She shook her head and said something like "Neh."

"Oh come on," I cajoled. "Look at this beautiful giraffe and a baby giraffe! Let's put this one together."

"Neh," she said as she took it apart again.

Maybe at 15 months some babies just knock over block towers and pull apart jigsaw puzzles. I'd love to hear from other moms of knock downers & take aparters!