The time has come for me to post another controversial post about something that NOBODY talks about. At first, the topic was miscarriage. Then post partum depression. Then it was early female baldness. But now, I will step over the line and take a big risk yet I feel it is my duty to go where no public conversation has gone before...Vagina Blues.
I am sharing this information with you all - I mean potentially the whole world and lots of people who know me in all facets of my life - because someone has got to talk about it. I'm sure a lot of women are suffering out there. I know I'm building this up, and you'll be waiting for the punchline, but this is actually not one of my humorous posts, believe it or not. Maybe a bit snarky, but definitely not funny.
For the last few months, I've been experiencing strange vaginal odor. G. says he doesn't smell anything bad, but to me, my usual neutral smell has transformed into a foulness that reminds me of dead things soaked in vinegar. Not accompanied by itching or pain so I'm told it probably isn't an infection.
My gyno says it is yet another of the lovely signs of peri-menopause which can go on for a decade. She says it means I'm too alkaline. She told me to use an over-the-counter product called RePhresh. I've been using it 2x a week, and it has worked like a charm until recently.
I keep thinking it is systemic so I went to my naturopath who said no, I'm not too alkaline, but most likely too acidic. She had me purchase some PH strips, and I'm supposed to test my saliva, urine and vaginal fluid. Of course, remembering to do anything is a struggle much less to reach for the little roll of colored paper to spit, pee and stick it up my yoni every morning.
The few times I've remembered this week, my saliva is on the uppermost alkaline side of normal, my vaginal fluid is on the lowermost side of acidic, and I keep forgetting to pee on the paper so haven't tested urine yet. I've got to get with the program and do the complete PH testing on a consisten basis.
Since the ol' v-jay-jay is acidic, I'm following my naturopath's instructions to drink water with lemon in the mornings as often as I can remember. I guess I need to start sticking Post It Notes all over the house to prompt me to do these things. She told me to cut out coffee, but I'm just a little too mch in need of a coffee boost these days what with baby waking up several times a night wanting me to read her books.
I'm tired. I'm stinky. I'm balding. I'm practically blind without reading glasses. I'm still having night sweats. No wonder nobody talks about this stuff - it is all a total downer. Getting old is one thing, but smelling bad while doing it - that's just way too much to have to deal with.
Am I the only one with the Va-Jay-Jay Blues? Please comment - even if you have to do it anonymously. I totally understand. I'm fine being the one to put it all out there. At least I didn't include pictures with this one. Until they get scratch 'n' sniff for the Web, it wouldn't work anyhow.