babyfruit: the miscarriage blog and motherhood diaries

I am the Mommy!

NG told me again yesterday that she is the mommy.

"Uh huh, that's nice sweetie," I said dismissively as I tried to sneak in a little work. We've been without a babysitter all week, and my productivity level has gone into the negative.

The result of my lack of attention? A toddler's display of what it means to be a mommy, replete with some eye shadow pencil around the lips to illustrate her point. She had gotten into my makeup bag. I snatched away my purse before she got into my antidepressants, too.

Note to self: She is tall and can reach more things now. Out of reach is another foot above the last level.

This role reversal thing has gotten a bit weird and hard for me to handle.

"I'm the mommy, and you're NG," she said to me one day. I thought it was brilliant, a sign of incredible imagination and intelligence. I basked in that temporary glow you get when your child does something interesting and you think "I did that."

At first I played along with her. I even "misbehaved" a little to make my role as NG legit. I reached over to the bathroom light switch and turned it on and off and on again.

NG swung around with a stern look on her face, brows furrowed, wagging her finger at me.

"Don't do that! Don't turn the lights off!" she scolded.

Oh. So is that how I scold her or how she perceives that I scold her? Kinda bitchy.

I told G. about this amazing imagination-driven game NG played with me that day, where she was the mommy and I was NG, and how what I thought would be a brief exchange turned into hours of roleplaying.

I thought it was a passing phase, something that was fun for a moment and then would quickly become old and stale. Boy was I wrong.

Now more than half of each day is spent with NG being the mommy. When it happened for the second and third time I was surprised. The fourth and fifth time I was a little peturbed. Six and seventh brought a bit of alarm. How long would she carry this out? Over a month later, I'm frankly pissed off and blame myself for not nipping it in the bud sooner.

Because now she uses it as a manipulation to control her situation, to do what she is not supposed to do, to get what she wants. I've resorted to gritting my teeth and seething "No, I am the mommy. YOU are NG."

"No, I am the mommy!" she insists. "YOU are the baby!"

Argh!

I'm sure I can use this to my advantage to explore the nuances of mother/toddler daughter relationships, however, I'm often too exhausted or stressed to relish these moments. I keep trying to tell myself that it is okay, that she isn't really manipulating me, but I see that glint in her eye and smirk on her face that tells me she knows exactly what she is doing. And she enjoys it a little too much.

Any suggestions on how to handle the constant role reversal? I am the mommy ,right?

She's a Big Girl Now

Photo when NG was an infant and recent one from this past week. She may be a "big girl" but she still does that arms above her head sleeping pose she did as a newborn!