Imaginary Friends

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NG has been more and more active with her imaginary friends over the last six months. At first, I thought it was because she was lonely and didn't have many playmates or play dates. She has named her imaginary friends after local children she's met and at any given time, there are three to five of them around us. Not knowing exactly what to do about this, I figured I'd just take them seriously and acknowledge their presence.

"Don't sit there, H is sitting there," she'd tell me.

"Oh, H, sorry about that. How about I sit here instead?" I'd ask.

"No, G is sitting there. You sit here Mommy," she'd instruct, and I'd comply.

Sometimes, her imaginary friends seem like normal sized kids, at other times they are tiny enough for her to hold in her hand. She has entire conversations with them and can for an hour. She seems to be the ringleader for them all, giving kind instructions to them every step of the way and making sure they are always doing okay.

I'm still getting the Babycenter enewsletter that corresponds with NG's age, and the information always seems 6-8 months late even though it is chronologically correct. This week's had an article about imaginary friends:

Imaginary Friends
 
The all-systems-go imagination of a 3-year-old can conjure up a new presence in your home — your child's imaginary playmate. Although it can be startling to suddenly hear your child talking to a pretend pal, this development is common and very positive. In fact, it's a healthy sign that you have a creative child. Imaginary friends are great for kids — and are another sign that this year is one of the most magical of childhood.

Read the rest of the article here.

She hasn't used her imaginary friends yet as a scapegoat or in a manipulative way as the article goes on to describe. Her firneds are just there as her playmates and sometimes accompany us on our family outings. It took G. a little while to get what was going on when NG would say to watch out for G. or H. or the other H. Now he sort of awkwardly ignores it more than engaging at all.

I don't ever go out of my way to bring them up with NG, but if she mentions them, I'll always be polite. And I won't ever, ever sit on them.

Do (or did) your kids have imaginary friends? What did you do - or not do - about it?

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• Imaginary friends help children learn to communicate (telegraph.co.uk)

Comments

[Kay]

A friend recently told me a story about her brother's imaginary friend. One day he wanted to go see the friend, said he knew where the friend lived. Their mother said, Ok, let's go. SO they got in the car, followed his directions carefully and when they got to where he expected his friend to be--nothing. He burst into tears, they all went home, and there was no more imaginary friend after that. His choice, his road, his end. Your reaction to take it seriously seems real right to me!!!

[The Muser]

No imaginary friends yet, but I am loving all of the imagination of this stage! Sounds like a great reaction to N's imaginary friends.

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[Riccimagic]

Here's a different perspective on imagination. I quote from my teacher, Mara Freeman (www.chalicecenter.net): "Our precious and remarkable imaginations have been devalued and maligned in modern society. From an early age we are told that the 'imaginary' is inferior to the 'real.' If something is 'all in your imagination' it means you have made it all up, or are deluded. In fact, the imagination is the language of the soul. It is the equivalent of our most important sensory organ—sight—only turned inwards, rather than outwards. Everything that exists which is not physical expresses itself as energy, or force. The imagination is a creative mechanism that enables us to give form to the forces of the invisible planes."

So you might tune into your magical, intuitive child and see what she is experiencing on the invisible planes. Perhaps this is a precious gift worth cultivating, rather than a phase she is going through. Love to you!

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