How do you teach your child about dealing with death when you don't even know how to deal with it yourself?
This is a struggle for me and has been since I was a young girl when I began having anxiety attacks about dying, about not existing someday. I don't want to pass my phobias on to my daughter. I want her to be "zen" about death and dying, to understand the concept of impermanence in a way that she deeply honors her time here on earth. But what can I say or do?
When our Black Lab Ebb aka Bubba recently passed away, we tried to explain that he had died and was now in heaven. We thought she understood the concepts until she said:
"When Bubba stops dying, can we bring him with us again?"
I keep welling up with tears when I think of our sweet Lab being dead, and my heart breaks when I realize my little girl doesn't get the fact that death is permanent. I know she will learn this in time - I don't want to force this concept on her until she is ready - but her innocence can be like a salt in a raw wound in my own soul.
We recently had a conversation about another aspect of life and death. When she had asked where was she before she was born, we told her that she was "in the stars" and that eventually she "went into mommy's tummy" and then she was born.
She loved that idea. She keeps telling me she wants to go back into my tummy or go back to the stars.
The other day she told us this:
"I want to go back to the stars where I was before I was born so I can go pick up the moon!"
I told her someday she would go back to the stars, and when she tells me "I want to go back to the stars NOW," I again realize she doesn't know what she is asking for but the time being, I'm sure that's okay.
How are you teaching your child about death?
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