I was a little puzzled that this whole week I'm not
being monitored at all, especially since this is about
the time my two previous pregnancies began to fail.
I'll have to ask my repro specialist about that one.
No matter how much I feel like I take charge of my
health and this pregnancy, I still am weak at times,
confused, timid, I don't know what the hell it is, but
it overtakes me and I don't question or speak out.
This week, I've felt mostly like I'm pregnant - the
nausea comes and goes, less when I eat. Breasts
are for the most part very tender, a little bigger.
But then there are these moments when there is
nothing and I'm so convinced that it is over.
welcome to my rollercoaster.
Tomorrow I'll get acupuncture from my initial
acupuncturist in Ft. Collins - should be very good
for me. Then next week, Wednesday, is the next
What if they don't see a heartbeat?
What if they do?
All of these emotions bubbling under the surface,
bubbling over now and then. Hormonal.
And all I can do right now is wait.