Everyone keeps asking how I'm doing up here.
I have to say I'm fine. I'm just trying to adjust
and network and get things done. The usual.
One thing I've noticed about driving here in
Anchorage - besides the fact that with 260,000+
people in town it is very different from, say,
Lander Wyoming with about 7000 - is that
people here drive very aggressively.
Here is what I've learned so far in my quest
to survive the roads:
The Lane Change Rule
If you signal to change lanes, be
advised that the person behind you,
no matter which lane they are in or how
far behind you they are, will speed up
immediately and try to pass you because
God forbid you change lanes and remain
in front of them.
The Turning Rule
When making a turn onto a crossroad
and there are two lanes from which to choose,
remember that no driver in town will
first turn into the near lane. They will
turn into the far lane. If you need to
then get into the far lane, good luck.
Because then you are back to the
Lane Change Rule above. They simply
will not let you into their lane, so help
The Yellow Light Rule
Yes, here the yellow light actually
means peddle to the floor, baby,
'cause I'm coming through. And if
you are the type of driver that
(shock, horrors) slows down and
stops as the yellow light turns red,
be forewarned that someone will
ride up your ass, shake a fist or finger,
then screech past you when the light
turns green, screaming obscenities
as they leave exhaust in their wake.
Why is everyone in such a hurry?
There is so much Goddamn daylight
here and plenty of time to get things
done. Maybe it is a "No Rules Apply"
attitude. But even in the Wild West
Ways of Wyoming, drivers were so
much more mellow and courteous.
I can't comment on drivers in other
parts of the state. Maybe this is just
an Anchorage thing. All I know is that
the only way to get to where you are
going without being forced to miss a
turn and take a long detour is to
signal and then gun the engine and
change lanes quickly before the drivers
behind you have time to react.
See, I told you I'm adjusting.