this roll

Since the pregnancy quest, I have neglected
my physical fitness. At first, I was working to
get fit to prepare - yoga/pilates a few times
each week.

Then first miscarriage, unable to move very
well. Got soft.

Picked up again with the fitness regime.

Then miscarriage again and a much longer
period of inactivity and pain.

Just as I've been feeling like getting back
into my fitness regime, I injure my little toe
so have been limping around, feeling
slovenly and sluglike.

Now I have a roll around my belly. I can
grab it in my hand and hold. This is more
than pinching an inch. This is someone else's
stomach superimposed on my own. Somewhere
under this fat and flesh is that flat belly of
mine that used to be the envy of somebody
somewhere.

I'm not vain. I look at my body and realize
that I'm at a different stage of my life and
once I finally have a baby, my body will
be a roadmap of that physical journey,
stretch marks, folds of fat and all.

This is a woman's body, even though I still
feel like a girl. Even though I still feel fit
inside, my outer surface and shell begins to
show the wear and tear of my life.

Comments

[Jen P]

I have to say, I've never read anything that made me accept myself, until I read this. Thank you. Good luck with the dye procedure.