empty vessel

other than some light bleeding and ache in my
lower abdomen, I'm pretty empty. have scheduled
an ultrasound for Wednesday to confirm the
cleanliness of my uterus.

also getting an hCG level done today or tomorrow
to begin monitoring the decline of the hormones.

I've been trying to stay in bed all day to heal.
Got up only to drive to the local bakery for a
breakfast burrito, to Safeway for dog food and
a Starbucks latte (grande) along with a Frappacino
(tall). Picked up mail from the post office and
returned to bed post haste.

In previous miscarriages, I bled for several weeks,
then when it finally stopped once and for all, my
period started. So I'm prepared for pad-wearing
for the rest of the month but hopefully it will stop
before my trip to Mexico with G. for Michell's wedding.
Sanitary napkins and bikinis - not a winning
combination.

Come to think of it, bikini and flabby post-pregnant-
for-6plus-weeks body - not a pretty sight. Will bring a
diverse selection of cover-ups to Cabo. No tampons
until next normal cycle.

I've been feeling a little hollow and drained of muscle
energy, if that makes sense - like I ran a marathon
and this is pre-muscle aching.

Emotionally - who the hell knows. It all feels so
matter-of-fact to me but is that because I'm talking
and writing about it in a matter-of-fact manner or
is this yet another knee-jerk defense mechanism?

I think it confuses people that I'm not sobbing and
an emotional wreck.

Comments

[Kristin]

Sadly, when you go through so many losses in a row, you learn to deal with it. I hope that you do continue to deal with it so well and there is no emotional crash to follow.

I hope the bleeding cooperates and you have a fabulous trip to Mexico for Michell's wedding.