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« Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month SUCKS | Main | Emotional Freedom »


plucky punk

I am sooo angry. It's like I'm trying to concieve out of a fuck you to the universe for being such a bastard to me. Like, think you can keep me from having a baby? Think again! How wrong is that?

The worst part is that I'm not conceiving, so the universe continues to be a bastard and I just get more and more angry.


Had a conversation with my husband this weekend about how one of the more unpleasant parts of this for him is "evil eye" I give pregnant women in public places. No solution here, just empathy.


I write, cry, blog, drink, knit, cry more, make jokes, mourn. When I found a way to accept that it was ok for me to be angry, something happened. I was not as angry anymore.

Wishing you the peace to accept your anger and express it in whatever way works for you.

Stephanie V

Eat an entire italian cream cake and wallow in self pitty. Productive, no?! If you figure it out, please let me know.


I just stumbled upon your weblog, and can so relate to what you are going thru. I pray that your current pregnancy is a happy, healthy 9 months!!!

How do you get the courage to try again? I can't seem to find it this time around.


Lisa, I don't know if I have courage as much as obsessive determination stemming from a lifelong need to succeed at everything I do ie. overachievement. Good luck to you.

Kim Harris

I get so very angry when an adult says something mean to my children. To the point that I lose control and want to hurt them very badly. I feel if I do not stick up for them who will.
Now everyone thinks I am physcho but, I am not. I am a wonderful person to know until you cross me and my children. I need a better way of dealing with these issues. What do I do?


I wish I'd found this earlier. While I can't help you with the feelings of anger, I can say that your sharing it has at least helped me realize it's not me. I'm 29, healthy and can't keep a pregnancy. My mother was pregnant 6 times so it's not genetic. I hate the world, I hate pregnant people, I hate people with kids. It may not be right, but fuck it, I can't change how I feel. The other day I wished a woman who I barely know horrible harm because she's having a super easy first pregnancy (and was within a week of me before my miscarriage two weeks ago). I just hate her for that very fact. She really is a nice person, but I hope never to see her again.

It's nice knowing I can be psycho and not be the only one. Thank you.


I agree with the previous post. I basically hate everyone. i'm trying to run (which was something I loved to do before five miscarriages) but I seem to hate that too. I don't know.


What makes me angry is I am 42, tried for five years to get pregnant, this miscarriage happened and I had no control over it, that other women abort their babies and I would take one in any condition - I would take a baby with Down's syndrome but I don't have a choice, this little girl is gone, and it is not just losing what "could have been" it is the actual loss of a baby with a beating heart. My chances for another pregnancy are slim. I am angry that I have to expend energy listening to people's well meaning but assinine and completely off the mark comments and realize the only way through this is pretending - pretending Im listening and care when I only want them to shut the hell up. Do I need advice on not becoming bitter against God? Or that "everything happens for a reason"? How is that supposed to make me feel better? It doesn't - people makes their comments to make themselves feel better - they don't know any better than I do why these things happen or that there is a good reason. It just is - I do not need to make a learning experience out of it. I am getting to a point where I am afraid I am going to start just telling people how I really feel. It is absolutely horrible, it is hell. The only comforting things for me are those who simply acknowlege how hard, how sad it is. All the rest are just words of people trying to make themselves feel less awkward, which makes it about them. I should not have to spend energy making people feel more comfortable. I didn't ask for this and I don't have the energy to spare.


This is my first post ever online. I feel compelled to share my grief and anger with all of you in the hopes that it will help. Like all of you I have tried eating, exercising, shopping, etc but the anger will not go away. I miscarried my first pregnancy in October and we have tried every month since then with no luck. It doesn't help that my husbands best friend, brother and now my sister are all expecting this summer (not to mention a number of our other friends too). I hate everyone but put on a happy face in order to get out and be with people. Sometimes it works but I have a short fuse and unfortuneatly I have been taking this out on my husband because he is the closest to me. Anyways, I just wanted to let you all know that I hear you and completely understand. Take care of yourselves and try to stay positive when you can.

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