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I know, it is so hard ... and lack of sleep compounds it all. It is so hard to have patience for everyone when you are struggling to adjust to a whole different life and the little creature who needs you so much.
I think you need to find a new lactation consultant. Someone who berates you because you overslept? geez. You sound like you are doing great w/ the feeding schedule...and the baby is taking food in!
Now for the assvice -- as for feeding every 2-3 hours, IF the baby is gaining weight on the correct schedule (ask your pediatrician), you can go longer than the 2-3 hours. I know that I fed my daughter every 2 hours during the day (or even shorter time periods) and then at night I let her sleep until she woke up to feed. But she was gaining weight appropriately, I would definately talk to your pediatrician about this or another lactation consultant who can tailor a response based on your baby's needs.
And complain about the consultant to the hospital.
Take care of yourself - soon you and the baby will be old pros at BF.






I wouldn't worry about the 4 hour stretch unless something is wrong, like she is not gaining enough weight or has a poor suck. I had very sore nipples until about day 3-4 when my milk came in, then everything got much easier. Be careful with the pumping. It brings short term relief, but can make the problem of engorgement worse in the long term. I'd stick with hot showers or warm compresses until your milk comes in. After that, if you are still engorged, try the cabbage leaf trick. (Put one in your bra.) Be careful with this, though, because if your supply is low, it could decrease it even more. I would say only use the cabbage leaf if you are not supplementing at all. This is a very tiring time, but it gets better. You shouldn't be having that much nipple pain, but if your daughter's latch really is perfect, there's not much for it but to wait until your nipples get better. Make sure her lower lip is never tucked under. If it is, unlatch her and let her relatch correctly. This is baby's first discipline. No nursies with a bad latch. She is smart enough to learn this lesson already. :-)

When your milk is first coming in, the poop will be greenish. When it is all the way in, the poop will be yellow. If you don't give her any formula--not one drop--it will be basically odorless. If she gets a bit of formula, the poop will be greenish yellow and smelly.


That LC sounds like a real bully. Not what you need right now. Is there a LLL near you that you could tap into? Otherwise your online sister will help you out.

Everyone says its all about the latch. I hope you get some relief soon. My friend H nursed with cracked, bleeding nipples and still she got through it and is still nursing over a year later. You have that kind of determination as well.

The Ovusoft breastfeeding forum is full of pros who can help you out.


No one tells ya about how PAINFUL it can be..but it does pass and your doing amazing..and everything your going thru is so that mine are older i will admit nursing is one of those things that i'll get to that point where its that amazing mommy and her daughter time..I love how you go with your instincts and dont let anyone disrespect you..your a great role model for the new "gal" in the world

mama kelly

owie!!! oh do i remember that pain

there was a time when i resorted to nummbing with ice cubes before latch on to avoid the uncontrollable sobbing

hope things get less painful soon

mama kelly

PS isnt it great when they are gaining and it's all from you


Ouch. This is not making me feel great about nursing after my baby is born (Sept. 1). Why does something so natural have to hurt so much?


I remember the pain...OMG the pain of breastfeeding. It was only during the intial "latch" that it hurt the worst. But after about a week or so it seemed to let up and I never had any other issues. On the latching part...every nurse at the hospital and the LC told me I was doing it wrong - I wasn't getting the WHOLE nipple in her mouth, but that is what worked for her - she always got plenty of milk without the whole nipple and she was just fine. You have to do what is best for you and NG - it will all work out perfect.


The first days and weeks ARE hard, and it really does require perseverance, but you will get the hang of the attachment thing and hte pain DOES go, I PROMISE!

As for the "must feed must feed" comments - what bollocks! Spudly slept 6-8 hours right off the bat and there was no way in hell I was going to wake him. If he's hungry he wakes up. All this means is that you feed closer together during the day.

Fire anyone immediately that makes you feel guilty.

And the tension between you and husband is totally normal. HE needs to stop expecting anything from you. Your role is to feed your baby and do the bonding thing and recover from the birth. Thats it. Nowhere is it written that you are required to be a nice person to be around while this happens.

It all gets easier, I promise.


No LC should EVER make you feel bad. EVER. Kick her in the knees.

You only need support, tender care, and more support, and some tender care.

And yep, you are at the point when many feel they need to quit. It's like the last 5 miles of the marathon. It's sucking hard (no pun intended), but when you cross the finish...sweet, sweet victory.

This, I say from experience. And from remembering the one late, lonely night in the first week, when my trying to be loving and helpful hubby offered to go get bottles and forumla. Aaaack! At the time, the very thought was anathema.

We made it, you WILL. If you want to. The flip side of this, is if you should so choose to go with bottles, you are NO less a mother, and should get no guilt for that either. This is your journey.



I am so proud of you for sticking with it. That takes a lot of determination. I had a horrendous time nursing my son for the first 3 months (!) I had to wrap his arms tightly and force him to stay on the breast because he flailed wildly and protested and WOULD NOT latch on. The first few weeks were so, so, so painful, and you should ignore people that say that it's only painful if you're doing something wrong. That is simply not true for everyone. It is SO worth it. My son is 10 months and we're going strong and I'll have very mixed feelings about weaning him. It will get better, I promise. Hang in there and pat yourself on the back.

p.s. Find a new LC. However much you have to pay her is worth it for many reasons, one of which is the cost of formula!


thank you for sharing your poignant story. unfortunately it was in some ways, my story too. the experience with breastfeeding and the excruiting pain i endured sent me on an incredible journey. from the inability to accept that i (and millions of others) had to "just get used to it" to "investors do not care about mama's pain" i learned that women were suffering in silence. it was unacceptable. why? when comfort was so attainable.

at two o'clock in the morning, as i cried whilst breastfeeding, i tooled a prototype that enabled me to continue nursing at a crutial moment. i could not endure the pain unassisted.... the device worked and i made it through the night and over the hump without drugs or engorgement. the lesson i learned was that if nursing women had something for pain during nursing they could stay on schedule and may never experience the snowball effect of failure to evacuate the breasts (engorgement, plugged milk ducts, infection, etc.).

your story is my story. thank you again for sharing it with me.


I just sent you an email with some breastfeeding information through the side bar "email me" that an oops? and forgot to mention that sometimes when babies have had their necks and heads mished or twisted a bit in the birth process-they also will have latch on issues. If peanut prefers one breast over the other, fusses in some positions no matter what etc-see if you can do some gentle massage on her. Some chiropracters and massage therapists specialize in a two second manipulation of the cranial bones and cervical spine-but only go to one that has a good reputation...some really are bone crackers. not a good idea. It is a common malady with c-section and vacuum/forceps births, or very fast pushing phase. Heather


Oh-one of these days I'll remember everything at once. It sometimes DOES help to wrap them snugly in a "mummy wrap"-almost any baby book shows you how. Gets rid of the flailing arm and leg scenario, which makes it difficult to calmly put them in a good position. Also-putting them to breast the minute they even sigh, make sucking noises etc (you probably already know the signs) and when they are a bit in the "dopy phase" of waking up to get REALLY hungry, is the best time to grit your teeth and sing a rousing irish drinking song or something and put them to the breast-As long as the latch on is good-see first email-they can snooze a bit and suck a bit and hang out at the bar!

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