As the Boob Turns...

On a happy and positive breastfeeding note (since I already complained about loss of brain function below), NG only took 2 bottles yesterday. All other meals were via the boobs with minimal muss or fuss. This morning, she even took the left boob without the nipple shield - straight onto actual nipple.

After everything we've been through, this just seems like such a fascinating and amazing experience. For anyone who is new here and hasn't followed our breastfeeding saga, the Reader's Digest version is:

1. THE MASH: After NG latching on within the first hour or so after birth, later that night in hospital, a nurse mashed my nipple and areola between her fingers to shove the whole thing into NG's mouth. The result was a swollen mushy mess that NG couldn't latch onto and later resulted in edema (fluid behind the areola) and permanent disfigurement (misshappen puffy areola).

2. THE SLICE: On Day Two, lactation consultant hands sees swollen breast and hands me a nipple shield without giving me any instructions or checking to see if it fits. Learned nearly two months later that they come in 3 sizes and 2 versions - 16mm, 20mm, and 24mm and only 16mm and 20mm come in the "contact" version where part of the shield is cut away. The first time I used the nipple shield, it sliced both nipples open and blistered them as well.

3. THE ROCK: By Day 5 (Saturday), my right breast had not been drained and was hard as a rock, hot, swollen and totally red. Went to aforementioned lactation consultant who had me pump the breast in her office. She said I should pump but I didn't have one yet and couldn't rent one from the drugstore until the following week. I don't remember her telling me that I had to pump every few hours continuously in order to unclog my ducts. She did invite me back to the hospital on Sunday to pump if I needed. I did go - but only once. Didn't realize I should have just stayed there and pumped all day.

4. THE INFECTION: The right breast got infected. Wasn't diagnosed with mastitis until around Day 9 or 10. Put on antibiotics. Meanwhile, every single breastfeeding with NG was excruciating. I was bleeding, the pain was searing and constant (even when not feeding her), the sores on the nipples were also infected. Saw a new lactation consultant per midwife's recommendation who was so shocked by my breasts that she took photos. She helped get me on a pumping schedule to keep the breasts drained.

5. THE THRUSH: Antibiotics wreaked havoc on both me and NG. We got thrush which put a damper on breastfeeding although we both went on gentian violet and kept trying.

6. THE REJECTION: Eventually, NG said NO to the boobs. She began to scream hysterically at the very sight of them. I couldn't even get her near. At 3 weeks, she was nowhere near her birth weight and only started gaining when I introduced formula into her feedings. We were using a Finger Feeder which took an hour per feeding to try to prevent nipple confusion. She wasn't confused - she HATED the breast, and now I look back and think it was because it seemed to mean pain for me and starvation for her.

7. THE STRIKE: NG refused the breast from around the end of her 3rd week until about her 13th week. That is one stubborn baby. Introduced a bottle in the midst of the strike which was easier for all of us although it left me feeling defeated - that the hope for breastfeeding was probably over. Still, I wasn't ready to totally give it up.

And as of last Saturday, the breastfeeding began. I think part of her taking the boob is that I'm no longer in the constant pain from "injuries" sustained during labor. After having some granulation tissue removed from my perineum last week, the only pain I now have is back and hip-related. Being in intense and continuous pain for 3 months must have affected my chemistry. NG probably senses that I am feeling less pain and am therefore less stressed and the boob is more inviting to her because of it.

THE SWEETEST NOTE: Since breastfeeding for the last week - even though it is a new process to learn, can be a bit of a pain in the tit (not literally, just figuratively), and is confusing my body so it doesn't know yet how to manage this new powersucking of the milk - I am finally feeling bonded to NG.

I am almost certain a lot of that bonding is chemical, and because I'm so sensitive to any chemical or hormone coursing through my veins, I'm getting a big dose of "breastfeeding high" from the release of hormones. Much more powerful than what happens while pumping. NG seems to be feeling it, too, and after some of her feedings, she'll just gaze into my eyes and coos and smiles - not at all what she does after a bottle feed.

And my moods are a little better. I'm not 100%, but between taking more progesterone and the breastfeeding, I seem to be able to cope a little more with the day-to-day. Of course, don't talk to me in the evening when I hit a wall and crash. But for the most part, I think even my husband would agree that I've transitioned into a better place.

The family will be traveling for a while so I'll blog when I can. Will have the electric pump in tow, the nipple shield in hand, the boobs at the ready and some formula on the side to feed the baby however she'll take it.

Will the electric pump be allowed on the plane?
How will we survive pumping in flight?
Will the pump work in a foreign country?
Will we even need the pump?

Find out in the next installment of...Boob-a-licious!

Comments

[Myra]

I was in Norway during the time I actually tried to breastfeed. (I wasn't as lucky as you, Peanut just quit on me because of her GER)

Yes, to the pump being allowed. Have your OB/GYN write a RX allowing you to have a pump, just in case.

As to pumping on the flight. Get a window seat. Take two safety pins on the flight, with a plane blanket, create a "curtain barrier" between you and your hubby. Trust me the possible emberassment of someone looking in over your curtain, is not worth the discomfort of trying to pump in those dirty and tiny water closets. The curtain barrier will work for breastfeeding too.

The pump will work in a foreign country, but take a plug adapter and back up batteries just in case.

I'm keeping my fingers crossed that all this info is for nothing and you'll be breastfeeding like a pro by your trip :*

[SaraS-P]

Good luck with the traveling!

[Blair]

I just want to congratulate you on your journey back to the boob. Weirdly enough, my own story was similar to yours. It began differently but escalated to formula feedings a go go, cup feedings instead of your finger feedings (quickly abandoned because they were a pain in the ass and extremely messy -- we'd often lose a precious ounce or even more to tiny flailing hands) to bottle feedings, giving her the wimpy amount I could manage to pump plus formula. I was beginning to come terms with the fact that breastfeeding would never work (and wondering how long I had it in me to pump -- it was kind of like the antibonding and it was really getting me down, even after only a few weeks) when we turned a corner. We got back to the boob via nipple shields, suggested by a friend (LCs weren't helpful with getting us a latch). The first week she was on the shields, she gained 5 oz on breastmilk alone and I almost cried in the pedi's office. Then, just when I was resigned to using the damn shield forever and ever amen, she decided the real boob was okay. We've been on the real boob for about two weeks now, and as far as I'm concerned there is no going back.

The weirdest thing of all is that my daughter also has the initials NG. Nora Grey, born 8.18.06.

Good luck with your boobfeeding!

[Danielle, Celebrity Baby Blog]

I am so sorry for your breastfeeding woes. I am SO MAD at that damn nurse and lactation consultant. I don't understand why someone would be a lactation consultant if they are going to be a shitty one. There's enough lack of information and education about breastfeeding in the world without someeone who is supposed to be knowledgable NOT SHARING THAT KNOWLEDGE!!!

Argh!

Anyway, I am so happy to hear your daughter is feeding at your breast now. It is a wonderful thing. My daughter is almost 13 months and still a boob girl and I still love it. It's a wonderful way to bond with your baby. Make sure you take lots of photos of you nursing her and check out our breastfeeding gallery... over 450 photos of our readers nursing their children.

http://celebritybabies.typepad.com/photos/breastfeeding/index.html