Like any mom in her first year of motherhood, I've had my share of poo incidents with NG. But this one takes the cake, so to speak. This is a true story, and it just finished happening. I'm still in shock, I think, as I sit in the bathroom as NG finally takes a bath.
So I run the bath for her, undress her, put her in. All is normal - the usual bath time. Then she is suddenly quiet. And then the poop appears - well formed, solid poops.
OK, we've been here, done that. Calmly, I lift NG from the tub and put her on a bath towel outside the tub.
"Hold on a minute baby while I clean up the tub for you," I say and quickly drain the tub, donning rubber gloves to scoop out the poop and throw it in the toilet bowl. As I'm reaching for the Ajax under the sink, I hear a familiar grunting. She is pooping and peeing on the bath towel.
OK, no problem. It is just a bath towel. And I'm wearing rubber gloves, so I wipe NG's bottom with a Kleenex, pick up the softer poops, toss them in the toilet, and put NG on the bathroom floor. I fold the bath towel and place it by the bathroom door so I remember to bring it to the laundry room. I return to the can of Ajax and a sponge to clean the tub.
And NG poops a soft poo plop on the bathroom floor. No problem, we can Ajax the floor. Then she steps in it. No problem, I wipe the floor with Kleenex, wipe her bottom again, and decide we'll wash her feet off in the tub since it still hasn't fully drained. So I lift her and place her feet in the tub.
"Splash your feet baby, splash your feet," I say as she keeps trying to sit back down in the tub for bath time. "Not yet honey, splash your feet so we can clean them."
She splashes, poop comes off. Then I place her on the bathroom rug and turn around to Ajax the floor and the tub so I can put her back in. She runs out of the bathroom and into her room. OK, her room is baby proofed so she is safe while I finish cleaning.
Then I hear the familiar grunting. There is no possible way she still has poop left in her, I think as I grab some Kleenexes and run to her bedroom. She must be trying to rearrange her furniture, her new favorite past time. I hope.
I find her standing in the middle of her bedroom, pooping and peeing again. The poop plops down in dollops now. I lift her up and carry her into the bathroom again, wipe her bottom again, then tell her to wait by the tub as I quickly Ajax it. As I go to rinse out the Ajax, she runs from the bathroom again (why didn't I close the door behind us???) and I'm sure she is all pooped out by now.
Grunt. Grunt. She is pooping in the hallway. No way. I grab more Kleenex and step in a little poop still left on the bathroom floor and hop to the hall, pick up the poop, wipe her bottom, then hop back to the bathroom to dump the poop in the toilet and wipe my foot.
I return to the hallway to pick her up, but she is in the living room. Pooping. I pick her up mid-poop, carry her to the bathroom, wipe her bottom and put her in the newly Ajaxed tub.
"It's bathtime, baby!" I tell her as I start to run the water. And she is happy as a fish.
Gotta get the pet stain and odor remover spray and a rug scrub brush to clean up the carpets in her bedroom and hallway and living room, especially before the dog gets a whiff of it. Gotta Ajax the bathroom floor and tub again for good measure. And clean my feet once more. Just to make sure.
But for a moment, just for a moment, I just have to....laugh.
Holy WOW! That's very very funny.
Posted by: Eva | October 15, 2007 at 08:45 AM
That stinks - literally.
Posted by: Christy | October 15, 2007 at 05:09 PM
Print this one for your scrapbook. Your daughter will probably love it when she gets older. What a crazy day it must have been...
Posted by: mo | October 15, 2007 at 07:12 PM
Ah...this made me laugh and laugh, oh the horrors! And your own calm response to every moment but sensing the rising panic as each successive poop gets runnier...
Well done you! And well done NG!!
Posted by: ovagirl | October 16, 2007 at 05:13 PM
Ah, Poop. A month ago we had a similar occurance.. I just tried to get my son to poop into the toilet though... and when I gave up, he squatted on the floor. and then pooped again in the drained, cleaned and refilled tub. Don't you love it? I think it was the first time I ever laughed about so much poop.
Posted by: maryr | October 17, 2007 at 06:54 PM
So so so funny. Nothing funnier than poop stories. I guess I haven't matured since 3rd grade. Keep up the good work Ajax Lady.
Posted by: Ellen | October 18, 2007 at 12:29 PM
I cannot stop laughing! I will be giggling over this one for days!
Posted by: Kara | October 19, 2007 at 07:48 PM
I just came back to say that just after reading this my own poop story happened.... I thought of you!
Posted by: ovagirl | October 20, 2007 at 04:39 AM
That is too funny!! My little one likes to walk around while she is peeing, so the diaper is the last thing to come off before bath. This one is a keeper. She will love it when she gets older.
Posted by: Felicia | October 21, 2007 at 07:23 PM
I hate to laugh, but this was truly too funny!
We all have had our "proudest" moments as mommies... We all have stories similar to this one. ;)
Posted by: Tina | October 22, 2007 at 11:41 AM
OMG!! I thought my cats were bad-they decided they prefer to use the towel on the floor outside of the bathtub. I have to wash scraps of old towels all the time to keep up. NG's got the cats beat!
Posted by: Mary | October 22, 2007 at 12:29 PM
I am laughing out loud -- my 18 month old just had one of those incidents at bathtime too -- just stood there and laughed while he peed, then kept peeing, and peeing, and then I realized too late what he was really doing... yours takes the cake!
Posted by: Liz | October 28, 2007 at 08:05 PM
Wow, and I thought my baby's recent ricocheting poo off the diaper onto the boppy then down my pants onto the couch and pooling onto the carpet below was a classic. I find that at times like this it helps to keep them in one spot and let them poo it out. (giving you just one spot to clean later!) My little one gets really still when she's about to poo or pooing and gets active again when she's done so if I'm attentive I can usually catch it before it goes all over the place. Yikes!
Posted by: zarqa | October 30, 2007 at 12:42 PM
Wow. You really need to get that published somewhere. That's a classic.
Posted by: Bonnie Bailey | November 30, 2007 at 07:51 PM