You Know You Are a Hunting Widow When...

Well, truth be told, my husband is a hunter. Not just any hunter, mind you. He is the Great White Hunter. He combines his passionate love of nature and the great outdoors with his deep sense of spirituality and oneness with the universe and goes out to kill defenseless animals.

I am coming to terms with this because I love him. Frankly, I absolutely adore him. He is a good man, a wonderful husband, a romantic, a creative, an adventurer, and damn good looking.

But I now am understanding what it is to be a hunting widow or even a hunting wife. Case in point...

1. I have given permission (much to his surprise) to put his gameheads up in the living room of our new house. My only concession is that I want to fill the room with lots of plants, have the animals' faces poking out through the greenery, have a soundtrack of tribal drums on a continuous loop and hang up a sign that says "Jungle Room."

2. I have purchased an upright full-size freezer in advance of his return from his first sheep hunt in the middle of absolutely nowhere. I couldn't call him to get his final approval so I hope he likes it. The Sears guy said it won't cause freezer burn. And its big enough to put some ice cream with up to 585 pounds of meat.

3. I am renting lots of DVDs spending my nights drinking and watching movies. Wait a minute - is this the sign that I'm a hunting widow or that I'm a 40-something woman or is that the sign of a Suburban Housewife. I forget.

4. I have no idea where my husband is other than he had to be flown in, the plane was going to land on a small lake if there weren't too many icebergs, then he had to climb up a glacier to higher ground where he could set up base camp (if he remained by the lake, calving icebergs would send 20 foot tidal waves across his campsite). Then he was going to hike up the mountain sides that are so rugged and remote the pilot assured him there would be no one - and I mean no one (save my husband and his hunting buddy) - in the area. Who me, worried?

5. I'm looking up how to prepare sheep meat on the Internet. Not that I will touch it, much less look at it until it is fully cooked - by my husband of course. But I figure since he and I made a pact that he would always cook the game meat, and I would always make the side dishes, the least I could do was find some sheep recipes for him. And in two weeks, it will be MOOSE.

I also have a pact with my husband that he must bring all game meat to the house already carved up and packaged in plastic or paper, as if it came from the supermarket. Other than the mounts, I refuse to see carcasses in my house or garage or yard. I want to cling to some delusion that he really didn't kill Bambi. Because we all know supermarket meat doesn't really come from sweet innocent animals, right?

God, it was so much easier justifying my meals in my vegetarian days.

Comments

[Kayla Thorpe]

I was quietly reading the paper this morning, with my usual cup of charcoal tasting coffee, and I found myself Google'ing new recipes for deer and salmon. We spent ten days in Alaska this summer, and I too could have purchased a larger freezer to house the catch we brought home. Now, much later in the day, I am drinking hot tea and Google'ing the phrase "hunting widow." Your post was the second result that showed.

Do you want to know the worst part of it all? I'm only 23 years old; I may very well be the youngest hunting widow to ever recognize it.

What do I do when I hear that my engagement ring is coming second to a brand new, EXTREMELY expensive bow, arrows, and tree stand?

I have officially decided that I have better luck marrying the man from the video store and the coffee shop around the corner, as I see them on a more regular basis.

Thank you for your blog! I'll be back to read more!

P.S. Need an yuppie in Alaska? I've been dreaming of moving there ever since I first visited! :-)

[Linda]

If you're in the engagement phase of a relationship with a serious hunter, take all the time you need to think about all that time when you won't be seeing your hubby. When deer season begins to seep through the late summer nights, whitetails are ALL that are on my husband's mind. Then, he's gone. He'll be gone most of november this year. And, I'm home with a three year old and a four month old. They miss their daddy and I'm going to go bananas. But it's who he is and it's what he loves more than anything. Changing him is out of the question. Going with him is a waste of time; I tried it when my daughter was just born and he was gone from before sunrise to well after dark. Just want you to know that it doesn't change when you get married, and things get a lot more difficult when there are kids involved.

[Kayla]

Linda,
Thanks for your comments! I originally posted nearly two months ago now, and while I do still feel as though I can call myself a "hunting widow" I should also state that I knew what I was getting in to long before I made a committment to this man.

In my first comment I did not give my boyfriend any credit. I am equally as busy and away from home as he is with hunting. We both make sacrifices. But our time together means much more than fighting over something like hunting.

Still, most Saturday mornings are spent with bad coffee and the paper, rather than sleeping in late and stayinig warm with someone I love. I'd take the latter anyday, but I'll take whatever Saturday mornings I can get.

[Floridamama]

Hi! I can totally relate for I, too, am a hunting widow. But I also went into this eyes wide open -- my husband fully disclosed his obsession while we were dating.

I'm starting to write about my experiences as a Florida hunting widow in an effort to help others like me cope.

My blog is at http://floridafishandhuntwidow.blogspot.com/. Please take a look at it.

[Vintage Ring]

The day will come and your husband will bring home the head of a deer that just fit the tiles, and then the won't think about how strange it was, just your negative attitude will become surplus to need to design the house ...

[Michelle]

I have been involved with a hunter/fisher for a year. At first, he put me first and spent all his time with me. Now that he is comfortable with me and we live together, he seems to think hunting and fishing are as important as breathing. He goes every weekend and during the week. I just moved to Louisiana fro
Florida to be with him. I do t understand why hunting is more of a priority. He says I do not appreciate the time we have together--a few nights a week sitting at home bc he is preparing to hunt or rush or build decoys or look at ducks on the Internet. I love him more than anything and I know he loves me, but I cannot help but feel hurt when he places hunting before time with me. Does anyone have advice on how to cope? It makes me upset. He says that he loves it and will not stop. He says I need a hobby too. I do things, but nothing as time consuming as hunting and fishing tar long. I just miss him.