I left Alaska at midnight on Wednesday night and arrived at my hotel in Chicago at 2pm CT on Thursday afternoon. Checked in then went straight to the speaker's meeting already in progress.
I made a comment about the Second Life panels (make sure you identify yourself every single time you speak in the audio stream), and the moderator asked me to introduce myself. And right then, I forgot who I was. I couldn't think of a thing to say about myself except to say my name and then I blurted out some nonsensical thing like "And I've been doing this blogging thing for way too long."
That was it. So much for personal branding. And after I gave back the mike, I kept kicking myself for saying something that sounded cynical and jaded when I am anything but. And for not plugging my blogs or my book or something self-promotional. Wasn't I the woman who people used to "accuse" of being totally self-promotional. Suddenly, I couldn't articulate who I was and what I did.
Met a few very interesting women briefly after the session: Met Katherine of Post Partum Progress; Alanna from A Veggie Venture.
Then was approached by a woman who wanted to photograph me because I had my hair in braids. She was participating in a scavenger hunt at BlogHer via Cool Mom Picks and had to take a photo of a blogger with braids. Who knew? I had just braided my hair because it was so humid in Chicago that it was the only practical solution. It is in humidity that my Jewishness really comes out - very visibly with my hair.
Later, after a much-needed shower, I went to the BlogHer speaker reception. I was nervous because I didn't really know anyone. And for the first few minutes, I stood around, alone, scanning the room in search of a familiar face. I even moved to the food table - my biggest networking event advice is stand by the food because people will automatically gravitate to the food and you can talk about the food to break the ice. It started to work, but I felt like a loser to have to pull the food trick out of my repertoire.
Then little conversations began. Women walked up to me to speak. Jory des Jardin, a co-founder of BlogHer and blogging celebrity, came up and started chatting. Here is a woman who I was so intimidated by because she is so successful and popular (how high school am I?), and she was totally approachable and funny and genuinely seemed interested in speaking with me.
Why do these events bring out my innermost insecurities? Why do I feel like I'm back in high school, the shy and awkward girl who just doesn't fit in?
Then I saw Betsy Aoki who I've known for over 12 years from the Webgrrls days. And I kind of glommed onto her like a shy girl tags along with a cool girl. We caught a cab together to the W to crash the "other unofficial BlogHer party." It was loud, dark and not conducive to networking or really meeting anyone so we left shortly thereafter. She commented that she felt that everyone is so open here - that there are no cliques, that you can walk up to any cluster of women and they'll welcome you.
Really? I was too daft to try. Another thump on the head for not doing the obvious.
So I've tried to speak with more people today. I'm still much more comfortable approaching someone who I know peripherally or have a common connection - like a Twitterer. But everyone is nice and approachable and I'm not feeling the walls of cliquedom. What a relief.
Someone told me yesterday - maybe it was Betsy - that BlogHer is a natural progression and extension of Webgtrrls - carrying on the tradition started by Webgrrls. I thought the same thing. So now when people ask what I do, I start off saying "I founded Cybergrrl and Webgrrls" - because it is something I should be proud of and not brush aside. Then I say "and I'm a serial blogger."
Okay, it didn't take me too long to figure out who I am and how to say it. It doesn't tell the whole story but it is a start.
Hi, Aliza!
I loved meeting you at Blogher! I'm indebted since you helped me get on Twitter -- having a lot of fun with it. I think you're blog is fantastic, by the way, and will link to it from mine. You're a great writer.
Best,
Kristin
Posted by: Kristin Park | July 30, 2007 at 11:43 AM
Hey there ~ This is so funny, I had no idea you were feeling awkward. To me, you had great aplomb, great zeal and yes, great braids! I felt lucky to 'happen' to sit by you within 10 seconds of arrival!! But you're right, you definitely under-promoted. I knew about Alaska and BabyFruit but not about the book or films or ...
Posted by: Alanna | August 03, 2007 at 05:35 AM